Sacrifice

My whole life has been surrounded by sacrifice; in many ways, this is just the human experience. Whether it's sacrifices between parents and kids, sacrifices between friends, or even sacrifices in work, sacrifice a part of everyone's life. But for me, this sacrifice was deepened by my dad's military experience.

I became aware of this when I was very young, where strangers passing by glanced at my dad and repeated the line they memorized for times like this. “Thank you for your service,” they’d thoughtfully say as we walked out of the store or pick-up line from school. I always remembered these gestures; it made me think about how my dad must feel and how kind it was that someone else would thank him for what I saw every day of my life.

My dad's sacrifice knows no limits. I would watch as he let my siblings and I satisfy our sweet tooth with the treat he’d saved for his once-a-year craving, and I would watch every day as he chose to put his life on the line for our country. Admittedly, sacrifice is a hard thing to understand as a child. I wouldn’t have let anyone take my candies, and I did not want my dad to deploy.

There were many parts of our life that I didn’t understand. Why did our life have to be 'harder' than others? That can’t be fair. Often I would fantasize about what my life would be if it were what I unknowingly defined as 'normal.' Who would I be? What would we be doing? Would I be bored of my house?... But I realize now that it was never about if our life was "harder than others."

Today, I’m weary of calling anything immediately ‘harder’ than something else. Everything is circumstantial. Every life is a unique combination of challenges and accomplishments, and although most people don’t have “moving every two years” or “Dad deploying for 14 months” as something to think about, most people also have some struggles I couldn’t understand.

Looking back on my life, I’m so grateful for every experience I've had, and now I recognize that this was all the result of some form of sacrifice; every little choice my parents made for us and the choice they both made to serve helped form who I am. My dad sacrificing his chocolate didn’t seem like much at the time, but now I wonder if that's why my little brother is so willing to get up and fill my water bottle for me, even when he was just as comfortable on the couch as I was. Or maybe that’s why my little sister sits through the ‘boring’ adult movies every night just to spend time with us.

It’s the little sacrifices we experienced, totally unaware of how they would affect us, that made us who we are today. Similarly, every choice we made about an assignment on a piece of paper has led to the life we would live in the following year. Sacrifice is something you do while unaware of the outcome. It’s the decision to put others' needs first - that is the sacrifice.

But this isn’t a total epiphany, I mean I still don’t want my Dad to deploy; it’s just that now when he makes these sacrifices, I understand. He’s doing exactly what’s best for his family, and he will always put his family first. No one will know how my little eyes watched as they looked up at my Dad after hearing the thoughtful declarations of, “Thank you for your service.” And in the same way, they won’t know what sacrifices he makes other than the one to wear camo every day.

But some part of me can smile knowing that every sacrifice we’ve made has led right here, to this moment... Thank you for your service.