Graduation Goodbyes are Nothing for Military Kids

My eighth-grade graduation had me furious, although I was really excited for high school. Movies like High School Musical portray high school as a blast as we sing and dance, and I was convinced I was about to have the time of my life. Looking back now, it was nothing like what I had watched on TV, but at the time, I was just happy to leave middle school behind. Many of my friends felt differently. Towards the end of graduation, tears were falling from many people's eyes as they hugged each other and said their goodbyes. I was confused. I knew some of us would be separated by different high schools, but we were still in the same city, even the same state. We could see each other on weekends and hang out. Their best friends weren't moving across the country or anything, so why would they cry?

Then it hit me. This was truly all they had ever known. They had been with the same family, friends, and community their whole lives. They’ve probably never said a goodbye like I have. They didn't know what it felt like to say goodbye and move hundreds or even thousands of miles away. It had never occurred to me that people really live in the same place for some reason. Obviously, I knew that constantly moving as a military child was not the norm, but I figured people knew how to move on.

I got angry, or more accurately, jealous. The question changed from "Why would they cry?" to "How could they cry?" I knew they would see each other plenty of times in the future. They would still run into each other at football games, in stores, or around town. They had the comfort of knowing that the people they cared about would still be close. I couldn't relate because almost every goodbye I had said came with the chance that I might never see that person ever again.

A similar thing happened when I watched the seniors graduate from high school. Many of them were crying as they said goodbye to their friends and prepared to leave for college. Unlike eighth grade graduation, I did understand why it felt more emotional. They were leaving home and starting a new chapter for their future. Part of me saw it differently, though. For many of them, college would be their first time leaving home behind. While college will definitely be an emotional experience for me too, it's not something I'm unfamiliar with. Moving to a new place, meeting new people, and starting over are things I've done again and again throughout my life. When it's time for college, I'll probably be nervous, but I'll also be prepared in a way that many people aren't.

The reason I mention this is because many people underestimate military child life and don't understand the toll it can take on a person's emotions. If my friends were bawling over going to different schools, how would they react to leaving everything they knew behind every few years? As much as I'd like to say I'm used to moving around, each move is still emotional. I’m better at goodbyes than most, but it still hurts. I'll lose contact and never speak to people who were once my close friends again. I'll arrive in a completely new place that I know nothing about and be expected to adapt quickly. I'll walk into a school where everybody except me already knows the people, the routines, and the campus.

Looking back, I was a bit harsh on my 8th grade classmates; their feelings were real and valid. All of my goodbyes didn’t outweigh theirs. People experience change differently, and the change in this life is something many people won't fully understand. However, as I've grown older, I've realized I don't really care whether people understand me or not. That's not to say I don’t like it. Being a military child has just as many ups as it does downs. As much as it can bring me down sometimes, I think I would choose to be a military child all over again. I believe this is something only fellow military children can really understand, and I’ve realized that’s okay, because military children have a special kind of goodbye.