A turning of my path. A choice I don't know if I can handle.
The choice of college was always on my mind, but, as time went on, my medical status started taking a role in a choice for my future. I could never go into a blue-collar job or the military as I wanted so badly to at a young age, so college became more of a need instead of a choice.
But, now that there is a need for college, and it is in front of me, I am so very afraid.
As a military brat, I have been prepared to leave and start off fresh.
A new school.
A new area.
A new culture.
I can start off somewhere with nothing but my family in toll.
However, this time, I will not. The parameters are different.
College is coming; it is approaching fast. I will be graduating high school in a matter of a month. I will need to put my acceptance in, and I will be packing really soon.
So, how will I handle leaving my only support system behind?
Civilians do it all the time - leave everything they know behind, but will I be able to leave behind my mother and her willingness to help me when I can't do much for myself? Can I leave behind my dad who can't always be positive but notices reality and helps me look at multiple perspectives of a situation? Lastly, can I leave my sisters who let me hug them, let me kiss them, and let me complain about life to them which no one else in the world would be willing to listen to?
A military family sticks together by their ability to communicate and the connections they have with one another. Though my family isn't always perfect, we stick together, and we can get through anything. But can they survive without me, and will I be able to continue without them?
It is a truly scary thought, a thought that adds to my stress.
Who would have thought this would have become my biggest fear?