Laying the Wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Laying the American Legion Auxiliary wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

430,005 people lay dead beneath our feet. We are here to commemorate the one unknown. 

I stand with four others. From the steps, we watch the mechanical movements of the guard—the click of his heels, the measured steps, each movement precise and poised. He turns to face us. The silence deepens. He approaches.

Each step he takes rings in my ears. My heart is beating out of my chest. To me, this is not only laying a wreath—this represents something that has haunted my life. 

My father’s experience with war has always been something unknown to me. A war that has been so loud in my life but has held no voice in my home. A war that permeates the walls with its maps that glare from their frames, that weighs down the bookshelves with its volumes, and that still claws at my father. What is unknown to me is all too well known by my father.

The guard is in front of us now. He descends; we follow in step. My stomach begins to plummet as we near the tomb. To commemorate the one unknown. 

Unknownness plagues the military—from the next move, the next deployment, the next decision, the next person. As military children, we learn to embrace this unknownness, maybe even encourage it. But when will we begin to face the unknownness of their service?

The wreath makes its way to my hand. We lay it down, nothing short of a burial. A process that all 639 acres of this land have seen thousands of times. We turn to face the crowd. 

"Honored" is how we are taught to perceive our military experience. In this moment, though, all I can feel is a deep sense of sorrow. I am mourning not only the one unknown. I mourn the thousands that are unknown. I mourn the sacrifice. I mourn what has been taken. I mourn the father that I will never know. 

We proceed up the steps. The ceremony is over. 

By facing the unknown, we create knowledge. Laying the wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was a path to not only learning the sacrifice of thousands, but a way to know my father. 

Do not let them become unknown.