Full Name Syndrome

Kathryn. That’s the name on my birth certificate, on my standardized testing, and on official documents. But I’ve never gone by that name a day in my life.

Moving around every few years as a military child and constantly having to tell people that I go by Katie gets old really fast. And as a shy person, that has always been a task I dread at new schools; having to interject when my name is read during roll call in every class for the first few days, constantly having to remind my teachers for the first couple of weeks, and clearing up confusion with new classmates. 

While this is not a life-or-death concern, when someone calls me by my full name, which I don’t go by, it's like a subconscious reminder that this person doesn’t really know me. This miscommunication can easily lead to a feeling of disconnection with this person without either of us really realizing it.

Getting past this “full name syndrome” is something that, however uncomfortable the situations involved may be, I have learned to do as a result of continuous opportunities for exposure as a military teen, from constantly having to integrate into new schools and meet new people every couple of years (as I’m sure many of you are familiar with). If a few gentle reminders of the nickname that I actually go by–the name everyone I’m close to calls me–is what it takes to make deeper connections with people, then I’m one hundred percent willing to make the effort.

Looking from a positive perspective, uncomfortable experiences like these in military life offer us something great as military teens: the chance from early on to grow and find ways unique to ourselves to make personal connections with those around us, no matter where we are. We have plenty of chances to understand how we can be more personable with people we encounter across our lives, which will continue to help form more authentic connections in the future.

I know it's hard to see all the uncomfortable things and hardships we are going through now in a positive light, so I hope this article can be a reminder for you, wherever you are right now in life and wherever you are stationed around the world, that you are more than capable of enduring them, and there is a whole community of military teens out there supporting you.