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How My Anxiety Affects My Life



According to both an article from Johns Hopkins Medicine and data collected by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 1 in 10 children/teens experience anxiety. I'm in that 10%, and you may be too.


I don’t know about you all, but my anxiety has affected almost every aspect of my life, including moving. The packing, the strangers in my home, the leaving people I care about and moving to a new place.

For me, I get anxiety when things in my life change, even just a little. And as one can imagine, that can feel really terrible when you have to move to a completely new place. 


Packing is taxing for everyone, but anxiety amplifies that overstimulation aspect, causing increased stress overall. When I pack, and I have to think about the things I am keeping, donating to the thrift store, and/or taking with me in my suitcase, it freaks me out. It is difficult to go through the clutter that is my memories. Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of is difficult, and it means getting rid of amazing memories that I want to hold on to. As someone with anxiety, that thought sends me in a spiral of panic.


Part of my anxiety is people touching my stuff. I don’t like it when my friends or family touch my stuff, not even my mom, let alone strangers. I always move and pack as much as I can, ensuring the movers touch the least amount of my things as possible. Along with others touching my stuff, saying goodbye to the friendships I made proves incredibly difficult.


Leaving people I care about when I PCS is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. Any military child will understand the last hangout with your friend group before one or more of them move. That last goodbye the day before they leave, and promising each other that you’ll be friends forever, be in each other's weddings, and hang out all the time in the future. However, when you live with anxiety, there is always a voice in the back of your mind that tells you none of that will ever happen. It tells you that your friendship will fizzle out, and they won’t even remember you. Even through all those thoughts and emotions, you have to stay strong.


And then comes the big move. Moving to a new place causes anxious feelings. You don’t know anyone there, and no one knows you. Anxiety will make you think that no one likes you and everyone hates you. It makes you fear that you will go through your whole time at the duty station alone with no friends and no one to hang out with or talk to. I spent the first semester of sophomore year sitting alone at a table full of people who knew each other. I was scared to talk to anyone, thinking that no one would like me.


I know this might seem scary because it is. Living with anxiety is a terrible experience. The thought that no one likes you or cares about you- that they are just being nice because they pity you, is awful. But the feeling of being alone is even worse. However, there are people out there who want to help, and listen to you. Whether it be new friends, teachers, or even parents. You just have to find them. And if you haven’t yet, just give it time. They’ll show.

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