Dirty old river, must you keep rolling, flowing into the night? sings Ray Davies at the start of Waterloo Sunset, a song by the British rock band The Kinks. I remember other songs from the band, but I don’t remember ever hearing Waterloo Sunset until my family lived in London – home of locations mentioned in the song, like Waterloo Station. During our two years there, we spent plenty of time along the Thames River - not as dirty at the time - walking, picnicking, taking the ferry to Greenwich, and enjoying sunsets over the water.
After we moved back to the United States, the song became a reminder of our time there. At first, like after any move, the place we left behind still felt vivid and real. Then, school started in the fall, life got busy, and before I knew it, we were moving again. I still missed London, but only remembered specific moments. Even when I still lived there, there were moments of wondering if it was real. It felt less real when, after mentioning it to new people for the first time, their reaction was always one of shock. But just like every other previous assignment, it became another entry on the list of places Faith has lived.
It's important to know that the treasured song, Waterloo Sunset, isn’t just about London. Davies isn’t one of the passersby around Waterloo Station. He’s looking on: As long as I gaze out/Waterloo sunset/I am in paradise. The specifics of the view aren’t immaterial, but the way I see it, paradise is having somewhere to look out at the world from, letting it pass by.
That place has been slightly different everywhere I’ve lived. In Arlington and Carlisle, my bed was in front of a window so that I could see out when my head was on my pillow. The view in those houses was very different. For one, I could see other houses, a busy road, and at night, the lights of planes taking off and landing. And from the other, I could see houses in the distance and the ridgeline of Blue Mountain. Both places were different from each other and different from London, but in all of them, I found my Waterloo Sunset. A place of my own where I still felt connected to the world and all its beauty.
I left the view of Blue Mountain behind when I moved to college in Philadelphia. The view changed to a tree and a glimpse of Center City, but my Waterloo Sunset remained. A dirty old river. Crossing the Schuylkill River between University City and Center City, with the river flowing beneath the bridges and the skyline rising to one side, I am always hit with the realization that wow, I really do live here. And in those moments, it feels like paradise.
There is will always be a part of me that misses London. There is always going to be a part of me that misses everywhere else I've lived. A favorite stall at the farmer’s market, the best place to walk the dogs, a beloved museum. Part of the military lifestyle is leaving places behind, and that never gets less hard. The next duty station never fully replaces the one you left behind. But the feeling of contentment Davies sings of, finding paradise in something as simple as the view from a window, can, just like a favorite song, follow you wherever you go.
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