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Vivian S.

Name the Places



“I’m actually a Military Brat”

“So, you move around a lot... where have you lived?”

“Do you want the list?” 


That’s what I usually answer while chuckling. A quick "Sure!" is the reply, followed by my extensive catalog of past duty stations. I can’t tell you how many times this same, simple conversation has met me, with the trigger usually being the expected “where are you from?” For clarification, no one did anything wrong here! The reason I recount this memory is to marvel at the importance of it. 


Asking where a military brat is from is like hinting at an undisclosed bombshell. When this is finally revealed, it adds an understanding to the person's life. And if not an understanding, at least a curiosity is added. The exchange may follow with a bustle of interest and excitement in the person who asked, learning a lifestyle that seems so foreign to them.


However, the other side of this conversation is a military brat who’s likely answered this question a hundred times, someone who has turned the question on every side. They’ve answered to a person’s pity, curiosity, judgment, and eagerness. This military brat might have experience defending their parents, their family, and their lifestyle, convincing the other person that their personal life has not been the reality others think of it as.


“Honestly, it’s hard, sure, but I wouldn’t give up my childhood for anything!”


They're a military brat who has also enjoyed lengthy conversations entailing their ‘favorite place’ and where they were born, answering to people who want to get to know them better. They are forming new friendships, bonds, and connections.


“I don’t know where my favorite place is… but I did live in Hawaii!”


They may be a military brat who, like most, has condensed a lifestyle into a few sentences or formulated it into words in an essay. They're a person who ‘leans into’ their life, pulling the most intriguing parts out, meticulously painting a picture for their audience.


“Resilience, strength, connection; the foundations of my life, built by my life as a military brat.”


The military brat is probably someone who has learned how to change themselves to fit any social situation. They've learned that in many people's lives, they may be wanted more as a character, rather than as a permanent person. The military brat has learned how to keep the 'real' and be okay with letting go of everything else.


"We should keep up with each other! I'll call you when we get there."


I wouldn’t give up my childhood and life for anything, though I realize it is hard to understand. There are many things you must learn when raised as a military brat: how to make connections, how to keep them, how to let them go. You learn how to stay strong in your identity no matter your surroundings. However, I think an unappreciated trait that military family life entails is how to explain this life to someone who’s never experienced it, discovering how to condense a foreign lifestyle into a conversation. 


Growing up the child of a soldier does not mean being the side piece to a military life - this group is a community in and of itself. For me, this means dressing up for change of commands (and planning your own family's for weeks). It means running up and down the street during ‘moving season,’ seeing trucks along the road. It means making my best friend for life in a single year. It means having a place to stay no matter where I am in the US.


Being a military teen also means all the communities I left behind. It means watching their successes from across the country, as they watch mine. It means tight hugs in the airport and long road trips hitting every past house along the way. This life has given me everything I have, and it's made me everyone I am.


This life also means knowing it will all come to an end - that there will be a very last move with my family, a very last road trip. 


However, being a military brat means knowing this life will never truly leave me. Though, like always, it will change and adapt, I know I will always be a military brat. In my photos, my friends, connections, and the license plates stored in our garage - there is no way I could ever truly leave this life. Because, this life means knowing that soon enough, I’ll have this conversation again.


“I’m actually a Military Brat”

“So, you move around a lot.... where have you lived?”


“Do you want the list?”

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