My New "Itch"

One of the most common words I’ve heard during my time writing with Bloom is the "Itch.” For the uninitiated, the "Itch” is the feeling many military teens get after they’ve lived somewhere for around two years. This feeling comes in many different forms. For some, it presents itself as eager anticipation to find out where your family is PCSing to next. However, for others, it creates a horrific season of anxiety and worry about what is to come. For most of my life I’ve experienced the former, but as I prepare to leave for college this fall, I'm suddenly feeling the latter.

While moving to college may not be a PCS, it does feel very similar. Just like a PCS, there’s structured dates to meet, prerequisites to be followed, goals to be achieved, and the overwhelming sense of uncertainty. Yet at the same time, it’s different. I’m able to choose where I’m going to live, who I live with, and what I want to do. These choices partially help with this uncertainty while also adding some level of anxiety. One question this process has brought up is, "How can I confidently make a decision when the DoD has decided everything for the past 18 years of our lives?"

This process of going to college has also changed my outlook on moving. For the first time in my life, "The Itch" is impacting me differently. As opposed to my typical outlook where I've forced myself to be excited for the upcoming move and view it as a new adventure, I’m realizing that after my freshman year of college, my parents won’t live in Northern Virginia anymore. As soon as I'm granted some level of normalcy, I won't be returning to the same place while on break.

While living in Virginia, I forced myself to become much more of a type-A person. As a result, I was captain of my rowing team, officer in multiple clubs, and overall become more of an extrovert. This significantly impacts how the "Itch” affects me because I am looking at it through a completely different lens.

My new "Itch" no longer refers to being ready to move on to the next place. My "Itch" now refers to anticipating how I'll maintain connections while building new ones as my family and I are on different schedules. My "Itch" now refers to how I’ll spend my time at home from college while my parents still live in Virginia. My "Itch" now refers to how I anticipate the feeling of reflecting upon myself as I graduate from Clemson in 2028.

Originally, my "Itch" represented an anticipation of change - something military teens experience often. However, my new "Itch" became surrounded by uncertainty, for I now controlled it. The new "Itch" has a similar cause, but different effects. With it, I'm focusing more on staying in the next new place, rather than leaving my current one.