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Finding Myself


Who am I? The question that every person faces throughout their lifetime. For army brats, this question doesn't change, but the answer can be redefined by every new station. The opportunity to restart and change every move is something that was unique to our childhoods. I knew this would end eventually; I just didn't know it would be so soon. Here I am, finding myself at the boarding school of my dreams, realizing this is my home, and it will be my home for longer than anywhere else. Here, I will be myself longer than anywhere before.


So - who am I? I thought I had this question figured out... well, not really. However, I always knew I could ponder and restart every year. But who am I when I can't restart? Who am I when I'm just myself? I promise this isn't an existential crisis, just something I've been wondering. When presented with the opportunity to change yourself, who would you be? To be honest, this question never bothered me. "I don't know," would be my answer, and that was fine. I could figure it out. Now I'm presented with this question again except this time it seems like a bigger deal. I have to figure it out.


What an amazing opportunity - I can figure out who I am. What a scary opportunity - I can figure out who I am. Now, I'm not special in this questioning; none of us are. But I think this question is prominent in teens in particular. Starting high school, fitting in, and eventually moving out. We're questioned about what we're going to study, our future occupations, life goals, and general way of living. Figuring this out and trying to actually carry it out are the two challenges we're faced with. So no, I'm not special for thinking about any of this. I may just be a little early.


I've spent my entire life surrounded by amazing people from all walks of life who have shaped me and raised me into the person I am today. When I came to my school, I met more of these people. Except these will be the people to raise me for the next four years of my life into the adult I'll be when I enter the 'real world'. From the second I walked on campus, I was met with waving signs and smiling faces, the kind of faces that tell you why people devote their lives to this place. I've found out every day why people choose to come back after their high school careers to stay at this place.


As I walked to the school store my roommate (although I didn't know at the time) ran out of the back seat of her mom's car to meet me and give me a huge hug. That was the first time we met. Now, she's truly one of my closest friends and favorite people. The girl I talked to about Gilmore Girls five minutes after meeting her has become one of my best friends. The teacher, with whom I dissected a poem about a plum for over an hour, has become one of the best mentors and educators I've ever known. And every person I see in the hallway or in class has become a part of the most important moments of my life.


Although I've always said that this experience will never be right for everyone, it will be right for someone. It was right for me. So, I guess this is me doing my part to try to reach those of you who are willing to take this jump of faith. This journey with Orion (Military Scholarships) has led me to some of the best experiences of my entire life. All I ask is that any people in the same situation I was (somewhat interested in it) - research it. Take that chance and see what this has to offer. So, I still might not have the answer to the question. However, now I do have the opportunity to answer it: to stop making myself a character in stories and start being myself constantly.

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