All I Know

Some people say that military life is my entire personality. They say it somehow manages to creep into almost any thought that leaves my mouth. I never notice it though; it's just there. But what if the military really is such a part of me like they say it is?

The more I think about it, the lifestyle is rooted in everything I do. The way I get up in the morning, the way I introduce myself to people, even my morals, and the way I eat. I can't seem to get through the day without mentioning something about an old duty station. But how do I explain that while my dad is no longer actively serving, this is the way I was raised?

The same way someone speaks Spanish is how I speak in military slang. It runs through my veins and slips off my tongue. JROTC is even harder. I'm considered a "try-hard" when I already know seemingly common military things. Every once in a while I wish I could be a "normal New Mexico teen," but how do I fit into a culture that isn't really mine? I miss when it wasn't weird to know all this information. I miss not feeling constantly out of place. I miss not feeling so different. But I can't blame them for not understanding.

Sometimes I wish I could be the kids who have never left the comfort of these county lines. I used to tell myself it will get easier after I leave military life behind. But I don't want to forget it because it's all I know. Now, all I know is that I'm facing this one alone.