As military kids, there's one question that we get asked a lot when meeting new people. I won't say it here, because I'm sure it will trigger some unwanted emotions in many of you, but I will say that the first word rhymes with hair and the second word rhymes with drum. Catch my drift? Okay, good.
When this question is asked, we are often caught off guard. We hesitate, unsure of what the right response actually is. We start to overthink, ponder our roots, and analyze every part of our life in search of the answer. And sometimes we're just sad, especially when we realize that we can't really answer truthfully. It's impossible.
But that's not the point of this article (because we have plenty of more insightful writers here at Bloom that can dive into that another time). This guide is for those of you who freeze when the question is asked. This is for the people that need something to say in that awkward moment of silence when you're thinking, "I can't believe they just asked that," and, "Wait, where am I from?" or even, "Oh no no no I just realized I don't actually have roots anywhere and that makes me really sad and I think I'm going to cry OH PLEASE NO BE STRONG DON'T CRY IN FRONT OF THIS STRANGER IT'S HARD ENOUGH MAKING FRIENDS WITHOUT ME BEING AN EMOTIONAL WRECK!"
If you're like me, you just want to give them a quick answer and be done with the question. After all, there'll be plenty of opportunities to talk about your past later if you end up becoming friends with this person. To help you out, I've compiled a list of responses you can use, depending on the situation... and your personality. I can't guarantee that they're entirely... hmm, how do I put this... civil? But they'll get the job done, or at least give you a laugh while reading them.
The Teachable Moment
"That's a great question! I'm actually a military brat, so I move around a lot. That means I don't really call one place home, and 'where are you from?' isn't really an easy question for me."
Situation: The person asking the question-that-shall-not-be-named probably hasn't met many military kids, and wouldn't necessarily know that their question is a hard one.
Ideal Personality: For the kind, compassionate individual who wants to be friends with everyone but also wants to educate them about the wonders and challenges of military life.
The Snarky Snapback
"North Korea." "Planet Earth." "The moon."
Situation: The person asking the question-that-shall-not-be-named obviously has a sense of humor OR is a total jerk and you probably will never speak to them again.
Ideal Personality: Use this response only if you enjoy letting your fun/humorous side shine, or want to cement your role as that one overly sarcastic kid.
The Clarification Query
"What do you mean by that? Do you want to know where I was born, or where I lived last, or where I lived the longest, or where I enjoyed living the most, or where my parents are from, or where I'm a legal resident, or where I have the most friends?"
Situation: The person asking the question obviously has ulterior motives or wants a specific answer to find something about you. Thus, you need to find out what they actually want. Some people want to use this question to find out if they have things in common with you, in which case you can tell them all of the places you've lived. Or some people just want to know what kind of Asian you are (iykyk).
Ideal Personality: Use this response if you would like to provide a specific answer but don't know exactly which specific answer you should give.
The Pity Plea
"I'm a military kid... I don't really have anywhere to call home..." *sniffle*
Situation: The person seems emotionally stable and is someone you'd appreciate having around in the future for comfort and companionship.
Ideal Personality: Use this response if you want to find friends who will care about your struggles.
The Philosophical Feedback
"Home is where the Military sends us." *proud smile*
OR
"My home is not of this world..." *gaze into the distance*
Situation: The person seems emotionally stable and is someone you'd appreciate having around in the future for comfort and companionship.
Ideal Personality: Use this response if you need attention, or want to find friends who will care about your struggles.
The Technical Tangent
"Well ya seeeeeeeee, I was born in Washington, but my dad is from Pennsylvania, but I only actually lived there for one year, but he was also born in Korea, where I'm living now, but my mom is from Hawaii, where I lived for three years and where all my family lives, but I wouldn't particularly want to move back there so it's not really home, but I also really like Pennsylvania, so I guess I'm from Pennsylvania."
Situation: The person asking the question seems likable, and you want to find something in common with them to advance your friendship.
Ideal Personality: Use this response if you want to be specific and tell the whole truth, and also if you're comfortable being open about your life with someone you just met.
The Evasive Explanation
"I'm from Pennsylvania..." *awkward sideways glance* "Okay, it was nice chatting..."
Situation: The person asking the question makes you uncomfortable, and it wouldn't be worth your time explaining your situation to them because you don't really want to get to know them.
Ideal Personality: Use this response if you don't like small talk and would rather stand by yourself in the corner at a social event.